Imposter Syndrome Remedy Read online

  Imposter Syndrome Remedy

  HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-WORTH, FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT YOURSELF AND STOP FEELING LIKE A FRAUD!

  Emee Vida Estacio, PhD

  www.thepamecode.com

  IMPOSTER SYNDROME REMEDY

  Copyright © 2018 by Dr. Emee Vida Estacio

  www.thepamecode.com

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events and incidents depicted in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. For permissions contact: [email protected]

  Editor: Nicole Langston

  Disclaimer: This book is designed to provide information and motivation to our readers. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the Author, nor the Publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations on the subject matter herein. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional. The book is sold with the understanding that neither the Author, nor the Publisher is engaged to render any type of psychological, medical, legal, or any other kind of professional advice. Neither the Author nor the Publisher shall be held liable or responsible to any person or entity with respect to any physical, psychological, emotional, financial, or commercial damages, including, but not limited to, special, incidental, consequential or other damages, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information or programs contained herein. Every person is different, and the advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. Our views and rights are the same: You are responsible for your own choices, actions, and results.

  DEDICATION

  “To my parents for life.

  To my Andy for love.

  And to my Vas for my purpose.”

  FREE BONUS

  Thank you for taking interest in my book. To help you make the most of your reading time, I prepared a FREE printable workbook to encourage you to apply the techniques in this book and take small, actionable steps over the next 30 days to remedy your Imposter Syndrome.

  You can download this FREE workbook at

  www.thepamecode.com/imposter-workbook

  CONTENTS

  PREFACE

  WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME

  4-MUST-DO STEPS FOR LASTING CHANGE

  PURPOSE OVER SELF-DOUBT

  THE 5 MOST COMMON IMPOSTER SYNDROME PITS THAT PARALYZE YOU (AND THE ONE THAT MAKES YOU DO TOO MUCH!)

  GO FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH WITH JUST A BIT OF T.L.C.

  STAYING OUT OF THE IMPOSTER SYNDROME CYCLE

  THE 30-DAY PAME ACTION PLAN TO REMEDY IMPOSTER SYNDROME

  Final remarks

  Other books in the series

  PREFACE

  “I don’t deserve this job. I just got lucky.”

  “I can’t believe they trusted me. I am not good enough to do this.”

  “I managed to pull it off today. But sooner or later, they will find out that I am just faking it!”

  Sound painfully familiar?

  Then you might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome.

  Imposter Syndrome is a persistent feeling of self-doubt, incompetence and inadequacy, despite evidence that reflects otherwise. Sure, we all feel self-doubt from time to time, and in moderate amounts, it can be good for you.

  However, imposter syndrome is a whole new level of self-doubt. It’s like self-doubt on steroids! It makes you feel as if you don’t deserve any of your accomplishments because you can’t shake off the feeling that you are not good enough at what you do. It’s almost as if you are just “winging it” and you are lucky that people are fooled by the results.

  You are not the only one who has felt this way.

  In my experience as a community and health psychologist, I have worked with doctors, nurses, community leaders, teachers, managers, health and social workers who have expressed that they feel incompetent at what they do, that sometimes they can’t believe how people could trust them with the responsibilities they are given.

  As a university lecturer, I have also seen how fully qualified graduates, who passed rigorous assessments of knowledge and competence, still feel as if they are unprepared for the job market, despite years and years of training and hard work. Astonishingly, even my most experienced colleagues, despite holding international expertise in their respective fields, still express feelings of “intellectual phoniness” and inadequacy.

  Although self-doubt can keep our ego in check and remind us of our own fallibility, too much self-doubt, which is a classic sign of Imposter Syndrome, can have detrimental consequences on our ability to find satisfaction in what we do at work, and in life in general.

  Being able to manage imposter syndrome can help you to appreciate your true worth and fulfil your potential. Understanding and handling self-doubt effectively will enable you to flourish.

  The aim of this book is to help readers become aware of imposter syndrome and the consequences of mismanaging it so they can help themselves and others to remedy its symptoms before it gets worse. It draws upon evidence-based research from psychology and follows the PAME Code of Purpose, Action, Momentum, and Energy as its structure.

  PAME comes from the Greek word, “pāhmeh” and it means, “let’s go together”. PAME will be a reminder that, whatever we want to pursue in life, we need to have a clear purpose, first and foremost. We need to follow this up with real action, maintain our momentum, and keep up the energy to sustain progress. You can learn more about the PAME Code from Book 1 of this series.

  In this book, you will learn about:

  What Imposter Syndrome is and what it is not

  The characteristics and symptoms of Imposter Syndrome

  Factors that contribute to the development of Imposter Syndrome

  How mismanaging Imposter Syndrome can be harmful to you and others around you

  The 4-must-do preparatory steps for lasting change

  How to use the PASTLE technique and mental imagery to melt away feelings of worry, fear and self-doubt

  Effective strategies from applied psychology to overcome the 5 most common Imposter Syndrome excuses that stop you from taking action (and the one excuse that makes you do too much!)

  The TLC questioning sequence to counter self-defeating messages that fuel Imposter Syndrome and other techniques to help you keep the positive energy up.

  This book also comes with a 30-day action plan and a FREE bonus workbook so you can take small, actionable steps every day to help you stop feeling like a fraud.

  Click here to download the free PAME Code Workbook to Remedy Your Imposter Syndrome in 30 Days.

  Are you ready to remedy Imposter Syndrome and stop feeling like a fraud?

  Then PAME!

  (Let’s go together!)

  1

  WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME

  IMPOSTER SYNDROME (a.k.a. the imposter phenomenon), is a term that was first coined by clinical psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzzane Imes in 1970. They described it as “an internal experience of intellectual phoniness…” and a persistent feeling of being a fraud. It is rooted in a nagging belief that you personally lack the skills, knowledge or competence to fulfill your job, despite external recognition and evidence of good (and often, excellent) work.

  According to Harvey and Katz (1985), there are three core characteristics of Imposter Syndrome:

  Denial of competence and inability to internalize successr />
  Feeling of phoniness

  Fear of being exposed as a fraud

  Denial of competence and inability to internalize success

  Those with Imposter Syndrome have difficulty receiving praise or recognition for their accomplishments because they feel they don’t deserve what they have accomplished.

  The reason for this is that they often attribute success to external factors, such as luck, a charming personality, or knowing the right people, instead of acknowledging internal factors, such as their skills, knowledge, and expertise. And when they perform certain tasks with ease, owing to their professional training and experience, they may also falsely assume that these tasks are probably easy for everyone, even those who do not possess their special skills or training. They also tend to set very high expectations for themselves and make unreasonably low assessments of their performance when these are completed.

  “I don’t deserve the credit other people are giving me.”

  “My success has nothing to do with me – it was a matter of luck.”

  "Anybody can do what I do – it doesn't require special knowledge or skills."

  Feelings of phoniness

  Since those with Imposter Syndrome feel unsure of themselves, they may also feel as if they are simply pretending to know what they know (even if they really do know what they know!).

  To them, it is as if they are just fooling everyone into believing that they are competent at what they do. As a result, feelings of phoniness and a belief that they are frauds may arise.

  “I can’t believe they are trusting me to do this.”

  “Who am I to do this? What do I know?”

  “People are overestimating my abilities.”

  Fear of being exposed as a fraud

  The fear of being exposed as a fraud is a core characteristic of Imposter Syndrome. People with Imposter Syndrome will work hard to complete tasks they are obligated to do. Yes, they will feel the fear – but heck, they will get it done!

  However, this is often accompanied with anxiety because they are afraid that they will be exposed as a fraud if they fail to meet the unreasonably high standards they set for themselves. Successful completion of these tasks also only brings temporary relief (“I fooled them again!”) because they are afraid it is only a matter of time until their incompetence is revealed.

  “How long can I keep up with this charade?”

  “Sooner or later, I will make a mistake – then they will all know I’m incompetent.”

  “It’s only a matter of time until they find out that I’m only faking it.”

  What Imposter Syndrome is NOT

  Now let’s get this straight – Imposter Syndrome is NOT about faking it. It is NOT about pretending to be someone you are not. Neither is it about cheating nor fooling others into thinking that you are better than you really are.

  On the contrary, these are exactly the unhelpful thoughts that those with Imposter Syndrome need to overcome. They need to believe that they are NOT faking it; that they are NOT pretending to be someone they are not; and that they are NEITHER cheating NOR fooling others.

  What they need to do is to believe that they are, in fact, the REAL DEAL and that they really are good at what they do!

  If you are experiencing Imposter Syndrome, it is my aim, through this book, to help you understand the thoughts that interfere with your ability to appreciate your worth, so you can free yourself from self-sabotage, replace it with self-belief, and ultimately flourish at work and in life.

  Factors that contribute to Imposter Syndrome

  Research suggests that there are several factors that contribute to the development of Imposter Syndrome. These include factors such as the need to always be perfect, mindset, early childhood experiences, and environmental conditions.

  The need to always be perfect

  Research suggests that people who experience Imposter Syndrome tend to exhibit perfectionist tendencies. Perfectionism can be defined as a “personality disposition characterized by striving for flawlessness and setting exceedingly high standards for performance, accompanied by tendencies for overly critical evaluations (Stroeber, 2014, p.527).”

  A perfectionist typically sets unrealistically high standards, driving themselves relentlessly toward perfection, and self-worth tends to be measured entirely on productivity and success (Burns, 1980).

  According to Flett and Hewitt (2002), there are three types of perfectionism:

  Self-oriented perfectionism – sets unrealistic standards for self

  Other-oriented perfectionism – sets unrealistic standards for others

  Socially prescribed perfectionism – action driven by (perceived) external pressure to be perfect

  Although striving for perfection may have some benefits, it is important to draw the line when perfectionism becomes destructive. According to Hamachek (1978):

  “Persons who might fit under the label 'normal perfectionists' (whom we could just as easily refer to as skilled artists or careful workers or masters of their craft) are those who derive a very real sense of pleasure from the labors of a painstaking effort and who feel free to be less precise as the situation permits. This is not, however, apt to be true for neurotic perfectionists. Here we have the sort of people whose efforts – even their best ones – never seem quite good enough, at least in their own eyes. They are unable to feel satisfaction because in their own eyes they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling (p.27).”

  Recent research categorized perfectionism into “adaptive” versus “maladaptive” perfectionism. Consider the difference between the two:

  Fixed versus growth mindset

  Mindset is another factor that is associated with Imposter Syndrome. Stanford University psychologist, Dr. Carol Dweck, is a world-leading expert on motivation and achievement. She has dedicated her work to understanding what fosters success and how mindset plays a key role in this. She differentiated between people with FIXED versus GROWTH mindsets:

  A FIXED mindset is a belief that basic qualities, such as intelligence or talent, are fixed traits; whereas,

  A GROWTH mindset is a belief that such qualities are flexible, and can be improved through work and persistence.

  Having a fixed mindset can exacerbate the experience of Imposter Syndrome. This is particularly true when a person is confronted with challenging tasks.

  To prevent being exposed as frauds, those with Imposter Syndrome will avoid tasks that could potentially expose gaps in their knowledge and skills. Having a GROWTH mindset can remedy this issue since this mindset allows challenging tasks to be perceived as opportunities to learn and grow; whereas a FIXED mindset will assume that knowledge and skills are fixed, therefore tasks that will expose such limitations must be avoided.

  Those with Imposter Syndrome also feel the need to appear (perfectly) competent in their jobs. This translates to being able to perform tasks effortlessly. Having a GROWTH mindset can remedy this issue since this mindset perceives effort as a pathway to learning and subsequent mastery of skills; whereas a FIXED mindset will assume that effort reflects personal limitation and incompetence, and therefore, must also be avoided.

  Mindset can also influence the way a person receives and responds to constructive feedback. While those with a GROWTH mindset will perceive constructive feedback as an opportunity to improve performance in the future, those with a FIXED mindset will view this as a personal flaw that cannot be changed.

  This resonates with those with Imposter Syndrome who have the tendency to internalize constructive criticism as personal failure. Therefore, feedback, even constructive feedback, tends to be taken personally, which validates the belief of incompetency.

  Early childhood messages

  Research also suggests that the messages we receive in our early childhood contribute to the development of Imposter Syndrome. Being raised in environments with high expectations and a big emphasis on achievement can influence how children learn and internalize what success
and failure mean.

  Clance (1985) observed that those with Imposter Syndrome tend to perform very well during their school years. They are usually at the top of their class and are often regarded as the “teacher’s pet.” No wonder those with Imposter Syndrome also have a strong need to please and (sometimes, secretly) feel the need to be special or to be the very best.

  However, there will come a time when this child will reach a level where everyone will perform as well (or even better!) than they do. For some, this could happen as soon as they leave school and join the workforce. For others, they may stay within their comfort zone and pursue further education where they may continue to reign in their academic excellence.

  Regardless of which route they pursue in life, sooner or later, they will eventually meet people who will match, or even exceed, their knowledge and skills. When this happens, those who have been “the best” all their lives, and those who have been told that they are and must always strive to be the best, may struggle to come to terms that this may not be possible, all the time. This is when Imposter Syndrome will turn its ugly head.